A Memoir That’s Close To My Heart {#RareBird Review}

Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love (Convergent Books, 2014) is a Memoir written by Anna Whiston-Donaldson who describes the life and loss of her son Jack who died in a freak flash flood. Click here to order your copy.

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When I sat down to read Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love, I grabbed a box of tissue and attempted to prepare myself. I braced for the impact of truth which I expected would knock me over the head and drag me back to the dark cave I still spend more time in than I’d care to admit.

Losing my first baby boy still haunts me with the whispers of the life that could have been. I honestly wasn’t sure if I would survive reading Anna’s story of loss. How can she go on? I felt like I should know, but I recognize that my loss was not the same. Yes, I lost a child. But he was a baby. He lived for only 9 hours and 33 minutes. The pain and heartache are immense and I can only imagine the magnitude of that loss had he been 12-years-old.

As I started into Anna’s story, I realized that this book was so much more than I expected. The first few chapters drew me into the world of a seemingly ordinary family just living their lives. I laughed as Anna described how Jack felt left out when two neighborhood children bonded while he was on vacation, and he now felt out of place when he returned. I remembered a similar situation in my youth and I deal with those types of things all the time with my three children.

Reading on I became more invested in knowing them. Experiencing what was going on in their lives as the story moved forward. I could feel myself more relaxed, but still tense at the same time. Afterall, no matter how lost I got in the early pages I knew what was coming…

Anna Rare Bird Cover1

As I moved through the chapters, I literally felt like I was there. Anna transported me into her world and I grew to love her family – while experiencing their strength, grace, and faith. Anna takes an unimaginable situation and somehow makes me understand something fundamental about the human existence. We are strong. We are resilient. We are more connected to God than we know. And we can survive. In fact, we can thrive in the face of great pain.

Click here to order your copy.

One of my favorite parts from Rare Bird is:

I mean, why are we so ready to give God the the credit for every good thing in our lives, from finding our mate, to doing well on a test or landing a job we like, yet we let Him off the hook for all the bad stuff? That seems ridiculous. Isn’t He powerful enough to command our destiny? Because that’s the God I want to worship, not some good-luck charm we call upon to help us find a parking space when we’re running late. I want a powerful God who is willing to make the hard, unpopular choices because He sees the big picture and knows what’s best. Sure, he wants our worship, but He doesn’t need our approval.

I love this part, and read it over several times. I’ll admit, I’m still not sure that I can ever understand the purpose of a child losing their life. It’s something like the loss of Anna’s son Jack that makes us all question the concept of “destiny” and “divine purpose.” When a life is snatched away too soon it leaves us angry and despondent with an urge to resist acceptance. To resist believing in a higher power. However, I do believe that God has a plan for us all. And I’m willing to believe in Him, to have faith that He knows what’s best, and to trust His love for me and my family. That’s what I know from reading Anna’s story. That’s what I will hold on to.

Yes, this is a story of loss – but it’s so much more. It’s a story of trying to make sense of something that you never expected would happen. It’s about rediscovering yourself and your life when you’re shaken to the core by something you never imagined you’d experience. It’s not a book about sadness, it’s a book about hope. About faith. About resilience.

Anna’s writing is so raw and real – relatable and engrossing. Although there were times I could barely see the words on the page through the tears welled up in my eyes, I could not put the book down. A life without Jack is not something that anyone who knew and loved him planned on. But somehow Anna lets me know that it’s possible to go on. And while it never gets better, the burden does get easier to bare.

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View the book trailer here:

Read the excerpt on Brain, Child here.

Click here to order your copy.

Learn more about Anna:
Anna Rare BirdAnna Whiston Donaldson is the author of Rare Bird and a blogger at An Inch of Gray. She taught high-school English for six years before becoming a full-time mom and writer. She lives with her husband, Tim, and daughter, Margaret, in suburban Washington, DC.

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Disclosure Statement: I received a complimentary advanced reading copy of Rare Bird for the purposes of this review. However, all opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links. Please view my disclosure policy for more information.

Comments 44

  2. I really want to read this book. I love a 25 year old son due to an avoidable motorcycle. A young mother was not paying attention. I will be picking up a copy of this book soon. Thank you for sharing

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  3. Great review. This book sounds like something I would enjoy very much. I love good, real, raw writing and reading is my favorite pastime.

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  6. Oh, this sounds like quite the journey. It is interesting that you noted that your anxiety decreased after the first few chapters, even though you knew what was coming. I would have the same response, so I worried that I would not be able to get invested, as I would be ready to protect myself. I will check this out.

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  7. Wow Carin, I am so sorry for your loss. I loved how you reviewed this book and I am looking forward to reading it.

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  9. My deepest condolences. 🙂 The cover of the book looks so freeing, and relaxed, that it wants to take me away with it! I am not one for such heart-wrenching stories…as I can become depressed very easily and stay that way for a long time. Books, and movies alike, tend to set me up for days of depression.

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  14. It is sad, but Anna is the story of life. As to the greatness or lack thereof of God..it all depends on if you are a predetermination or a free will believer….either way you end up believing in Something.

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  16. So sorry for your loss. I read this book awhile back and I cried all the way through. I can’t imagine losing one of my daughters.

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  20. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister when she was 18 and I was 19. Her husband killed her and buried her in front of the mobile home they were living in. I had her for 18yrs though and I thank God for that. Your’s is completely different than mine but the feelings must be similar. I don’t know that I want to read the book. It seems like it would be to painful. You’re a stronger person than I am.

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  24. Sorry about your loss. I love reading books that brings you into the story. I will add this to my reading list.

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  26. Our DC Listen to Your Mother show pre-party was at Anna’s house this past year. I knew nothing of her story or her loss. I recently was able to attend her book signing party at her church in VA and can tell you that I’m really really touched by her book and her faith. I do not believe that I would be able to carry on – at all – if I were to lose my son. I admire her so much. What a great review.

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  28. I have never experienced that level of loss and I simply cannot imagine. So sorry for your loss and Anna’s. Certainly sounds like a compelling read.

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  29. Wow. Your post really took me in, and I was captivated by Anna’s story and your beautiful and powerful perspective from the book. I am inspired and amazed at the faith of people who must endure such pain. I absolutely LOVE Anna’s voice for God and you have sold me on both her book and her blog! I can’t wait to check out both.

    I am so glad I came by, because now I have a beautiful new blog to follow here as well, Carin!! What a double blessing this is!! 🙂

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      I’m so happy you came by! and I’m glad to hear that you’re looking forward to reading Anna’s book – you won’t be disappointed. I’m excited I’ll be seeing you around the blog as well! Yay! 😀

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  31. Pingback: Enter to Win a Free Copy of Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love - Ends 9/8

  32. Pingback: Enter to Win a Free Copy of Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love

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  34. I also lost a baby early on in a pregnancy and had to have a D and C, but a loss like this family had to endure must have been very heart wrenching! I think I would have misgivings to read it because I would not want to revisit my pain. I like that the story became one you needed to see the end results!

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      I know exactly how you feel Cheryl as I was hesitant to revisit my pain as well; however, reading this book helped me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. I’d definitely recommend that you check it out and experience it for yourself.:-)

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