Do You Know These 6 Secrets to Avoiding Unhealthy Relationships?

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” ~Anthony Robbins  Tweet this

Unhealthy relationships are a part of our lives. Be it with family, friends, business partners, co-workers, acquaintances – we all have dealt with the spectrum from healthy to unhealthy relationships. If you did not already know, I am a people watcher. One of my most favorite activities is sitting at the local coffee shop or hanging out at the park and watching people. It is interesting. It is refreshing. It is eye-opening. Sometimes when I see others, the ones that look so happy to be together – whether it is a couple of lovers or friends – I wonder what their secret sauce is; and how they manage to have (what appears to be) a very healthy relationship.

Over the years, I have had my fair share of unhealthy relationships. From ex-boyfriends, husbands, friend issues, and family drama I have experienced it all. When reflecting on the healthy relationships that I have built with those who I’ve known for decades, and those that I recently met and bonded with, I’ve noted what I call the 6 secrets to avoiding unhealthy relationships. Here they are:

1. To avoid unhealthy relationships, understand that chemistry matters. In any relationship there is a certain chemistry that you have – whether it is in love, friendship, or with family – and you need to nurture what that is. Some people have an effortless rapport and connection which doesn’t take much to maintain. Others you have to put in more work to keep on that same level. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you need to know what chemistry you have with a person, and maintain the relationship accordingly. Tweet this 

2. To avoid unhealthy relationships, understand that connection is key. Relationships need a connection. If you don’t connect with someone (i.e. have things in common, and share them often) then there is a higher likelihood that the relationship will be strained. We as humans crave connection. We like being connected to the world, and to those that we love. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you need to stay connected to those that matter – talk about your mutual interests, spend time together, share each other’s lives; and do these things often. Tweet this

3. To avoid unhealthy relationships, understand that praise is necessary. We all want to be praised and acknowledged – whether it’s for our new hair color or the latest goal we accomplished – we want the people we love to let us know that they care. To avoid unhealthy relationships you need to express the same. Pay attention to the people in your life and to what’s going on with them; and be sure to praise and acknowledge them when they share an achievement or make any sort of change. Tweet this

4. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you must listen up. Listening is important. Listening allows us to show that we realize it’s not all about us and that we care to know what the other person has to say. Listening is also how we learn what’s going on in the lives of the people who are connected to us. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you need to practice listening. And practice it often. Tweet this

5. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you must give 100, expect 0. Ever since I came across the 100/0 principle, I was hooked. In essence, you approach the relationship with the expectation of nothing and giving everything. Never looking to see what someone else can do for you and always ready to give. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you must practice the 100/0 principle consistently; it will transform your relationships 100% for the better. Tweet this

6. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you must be raw and real. Healthy relationships are built on trust, closeness, and loyalty. This is formed through raw and real authenticity. You have to abandon all fears of what someone will think of you or if they’ll judge you. To avoid unhealthy relationships, you must be your most authentic self. Share the important things, show when you need someone to lean on, tell your secrets, give your honest opinions, and never ever expect someone to read your mind. Tweet this




I want to hear from you!

Do you have any tips to share on how to avoid unhealthy relationships? Please leave me a comment below and let’s have a discussion.

Comments 13

  1. These suggestions are so true. It takes alot of hard work for any good relationship. Thank you for this great article

  2. Commenting again, I was in a relationship with my husband when we were still dating and I had nothing in common with his mom and it was like she was dating me and she expected me to do everything with her and then she would “rat me out” if I didn’t to him, like what is that? I tried to tell him that she was doing that, that I was dating him and not her and no one would listen to me. So now I have no dealings with her and my relationship with him is all messed up because of that. She also thought that she could just show up whenever she wanted to our house. I think people do need to listen, he kept thinking I was “getting the wrong idea of her” when I knew all along exactly who she was and that she was a manipulator.

  3. I agree with all that you are saying. I loved and lost at love twice now. Don’t know if I will ever love again or remarry. I was married for 30 years to my firat love. Then, a 9 year love affair with the second. Whew! Talk about scary in learning more about him and his ways of evil against me! Think justice and truth will prevail soon.

  4. This is a GREAT read, especially #5. Great advice all around. The abilities to give and be honest with each other are essential to a good relationship.

  5. I’ve always thought that to give without thought of gain is the key to a happy life, & still practice that philosophy. I usually focus on those unable to help themselves(kids, animals, disabled) because I have sure attracted my share of takers over the years.

  6. I agree with this completely! Thank you for sharing this. I hate it when people just think that you should be buddies with someone that you cannot connect with or have anything at all in common with and you have a bad opinion of them anyway because of something they have done. Your first opinion is usually correct.

  7. Pingback: 3 Ways To Lose Friends Yesterday - Memoirs of a Clueless Woman

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