Is it so bad to want my daughter to be a girlie woman? I’m a girlie girl. Being a girlie girl is fun. So what’s so bad about striving for girlie goodness? I ask these questions because after reading this article, 10 Things A Mother Should Never Say To Her Daughter, I found myself thinking about the things I say to my daughter; how I treat her and what world my words are shaping for her. While I agree with the reasoning for the items on the list, there was a common thought that kept bubbling up as I went through the slideshow. Some of the things not to say included: be girlie, don’t be rude, and don’t get dirty. As I read them, I thought to myself: I do want her to be girlie, I don’t want her to be rude, and I absolutely hate when she gets dirty.
What’s so wrong about wanting to be a girlie woman?
Why is it frowned-upon to want my daughter to be a girlie girl? To do what girls do? And to know how to care for others – it’s what women do so well. We are naturals at it. When I was sick this past weekend, my daughter came in and asked me how I was doing every few hours. She brought me water, made sure I had plenty of tissues, and offered to read me stories or watch TV with me to pass the time. My sons on the other hand, were more concerned that I not pass on my germs so they steered clear. Asking how I was feeling once or twice – and from the doorway. I don’t get upset when they act like I expect boys to act. I know they care just as much as she does, but they are future men. I fully believe we are born this way. Like it or not, she is a woman. She was born a woman. Why do we fight so hard against our natural tendencies? And why am I made to feel like I’m wrong because I don’t agree. I don’t want to be a man. I don’t want to do everything that men do. I would be HAPPY to be at home bare-foot and pregnant (OK, not really with the pregnant part, lol) rather than slaving away 7 days a week working my butt off to provide for my family. I am not saying that we (women) should never speak our minds or that we have to fit into anyone’s mold – but that is just my point. It seems like if you are a woman, and you don’t fully embrace the woman’s equality independent we can do anything men do movement, then you are some sort of relic who is shunned for your archaic thinking.
The girlie-embraced life I want for my daughter
I want her to be girlie. I want her to mind her manners. I want her to aspire to be the woman she was born to be rather than continually chasing after equality and constantly try to measure up in a “man’s world.” I want her to be secure with who she is, independent, but also know how to build a home and take care of a family – I want her to (gasp) be prepared to be an outstanding wife someday if she is so blessed to find her soul mate. I want her to know what it’s like to be pretty; to dress up, go out, and be complimented for her beauty. I want her to be polite, to mind her own business, and concentrate all her energy on herself and her family. I want her to be so super positive that no one would ever think to come her way with gossip or petty talk. I want her to network, be personable, and be able to get along with almost every person she meets. I want her to love fiercely, wholly, and without reservation or fear of being hurt. I want her to act on her own instincts and stand up for herself without being disrespectful. I want her to create the life she wants for herself, to be happy every day that she is walking this earth. I want her to be comfortable being the person that she wants to be; never feeling the need to make apologies for who she is. I want her to know how to set a table, and know how to be a gracious host and an even better guest.
I want her to be a girlie woman. I want her to embrace being girlie. I want her to love being female and to not be ashamed to have more traditional goals for herself. I want her to be confident and secure in her decisions – whether she wants to pursue a career or a husband; either way she needs to be happy with herself. I want her to be a girlie woman; and I don’t see anything wrong with that.
At the end of the day, I will never steer her in one direction or the other – I just want her to know that she has options. No matter what path she chooses, I will always love and support her. As long as she is happy and secure with who she is and what she means to herself and the world then I consider my job well done.
I want to hear from you!
What do you think of the pressure girls are under to either a) be super girlie, or b) strive for gender equality? Is there a happy medium between the two? Please leave me a comment below and let’s have a discussion.