7 Lies You Need To Stop Telling Yourself

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

We lie to ourselves on a daily basis.

These lies cover up our perceived shortcomings and prevent us from taking risks.

But ultimately, these lies limit our lives and our ability to enjoy life fully. In the end, our lies can only serve the purpose of making us feel better in the short-term.

The worst part is, you may not even be aware of the lies you tell yourself. And that’s what this post is all about – awareness. By becoming aware, you can start to avoid lying to yourself and start living.

7 Lies You Need To Stop Telling Yourself Pinterest

Here are 7 lies that you need to stop telling yourself:

1. “I don’t have a choice.”

We all have an unlimited number of options available to us at any time. You might not feel brave or capable enough to consider them all, but you do have options.

Consider what advice you would give a friend in a similar situation. Or determine what your most capable friend would do. Can you do the same?

2. “If I do X or say Y, people will think less of me.”

Though it’s hard to believe, no one cares. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives or else wondering what your opinion is of them.

* If you believe you’re worthy, you won’t have these types of thoughts. You’re good enough to do and say what you want.

3. “It’s too late for me.”

People have graduated from medical school in their 60’s. An 80-year old successfully climbed Mount Everest. Do you still think it’s too late?

* Many things become less convenient as we get older. For example, it’s more challenging to go back to school when you have a family and a full-time job compared to a single, 20-year old. But challenging and impossible are completely different. Remember that.

4. “Anything short of perfect is failure.”

If you have to be the best at something before you’ll try, you’ll never get off the couch. We all have the potential to be the best at anything, and we damn sure can be pretty good at just about everything. However, it requires time and effort.

* Do you really need to be the absolute best? That’s just another sign of feeling unworthy. There’s no reason to be competitive with everything you do. Enjoy yourself without worrying about how well you’re doing.

—–Continued after this message—–

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5. “I’d be happy if I had more money.”

Studies have shown that happiness and income are only correlated up to a salary of roughly $70,000 per year. That means that millionaires are no happier than those that make $70,000 annually.

If you can pay your bills each month, money isn’t limiting your happiness.

6. “I can change him (or her).”

Unlikely. Think about how hard is to change yourself, even when you want to change. Now imagine how difficult it is to change someone else. And that other person probably doesn’t want to change. It isn’t going to happen.

* Learn to accept others as they are. If something about them is too disagreeable, distance yourself from them.

7. “I’m limited in my ability to accomplish anything.”

It has been said that learning to walk and talk are far more challenging than anything else anyone has ever accomplished. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Well, everyone can walk and talk.” Exactly. You’re infinitely more capable than you need to be.

* You may have a few issues to resolve, but your inherent capability isn’t one of them.

We are masters at deluding ourselves. We lie to the person in the mirror in order to protect ourselves – to make us feel better.

Avoid giving up your future in order to appease your emotions in the short-term. It could be argued that the purpose of all self-help is to learn how to lie to ourselves less frequently. Honesty (with yourself) is so refreshing…try it!

You already have everything you need tobe the next marvel of the universe. You just have to believe!

Comments 70

  1. I have purposed this year to be aware and stop engaging in negative self talk.No one is harder on me,and I need to treat myself with more care.

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  2. I fully admit to being my worst enemy and right now I just feel stuck. My best is half empty and I can’t seem to find a purpose. I don’t enjoy the things I used to and what I do enjoy, I feel like I have to seek approval for and I definitely do not have any support.

  3. I like the saying “If you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with others” or something like that. My biggest problem is worrying about things that are out of my control.

  4. So true. I lied to myself for so long, so I could keep on playing to the others that everything was fine. Not worth it.

  5. I’m just a teenager, and i’m so glad I can get to see people like you, a mom who uses her platform to give great and amazing advises. Thank you!!

  6. Not everything is going to turn out the way you want them to. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure! You have to remind yourself of that sometimes. 🙂 All of those points are great advice. 🙂

  7. I’m all for not telling lies.Especially to our children ie that some big rabbit brings chocolate eggs for a religious weekend 🙂

  8. Thanks for Posting this. I often worry about what to say, or how to say it, often second and even thirding my replies. I needed this reminder.

  9. #3 has always been an issue for me. I started telling myself it was to late for me when I was really young….like 12. Still struggle with it at 31. Something to work on. Once again….great list!

  10. I am a 64 year old with bipolar who envies you very much for your ability to turn these seven “ways of life” into a lifestyle…I can at best succeed at 4 of them, and this is with a real effort

  11. I need to read these daily. Great reminders and so very true. Sometimes I think it’s my excuse to myself not to do any differently. But when I do things I know to do to feel good about who I am I always feel better. Thanks.

  12. I am disheartened when I read your 7 lies we tell ourselves, for I find myself living 4 of them…at 64 years of age

  13. I tell myself these things all too often. I am really bad about number 2. I was raised to always be conscious of how you look to others. This has been something I have struggled with. Even when I was doing something positive I worry that others will think I am being snobbish, or not true to myself. Not sure why I cannot break this cycle but it sure is a tough one.

  14. Amen to this post. Absolutely well written. So very true and these things are so very important for each of us to remember!

  15. *sigh* This is a very inspiring post. Sometimes you have to look at yourself and stop making excuses. And if things aren’t perfect it doesn’t mean the whole thing’s a mess! Really liked this. Thanks. 🙂

  16. such excellent things to remember. I am a huge perfectionist and it can easily get out of hand and ruin the fun of things. that’s the one on the list that really sticks out for me.

  17. What you said is so true. We were in bankrupsy for 5 years then my husband got sick. He was diagnoised with Parkinsons. He can’t work so we lost our health insurance. I was so depressed. Then my husband got us a membership to the YMCA. I go Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and workout with a group in the pool. The other days I use weights and bike. I decided to get in shape and take some control.

  18. We can sometimes be our worst enemy. These little lies can prevent us from moving forward and becoming who God intendedus to be. Thank you for this great article

  19. We face these same 7 lies on almost a daily basis without consciously noticing it…but seeing them in print makes us stand up and admit that this should not be done and only detracts from our quality of life

  20. I think #3 is such great advice that I need to remember. Even when things are difficult, that does not mean that they are impossible, just that they require a bit more time and trying.

  21. Good reminder. I am often reminded that if I truly love someone, my desire should be to accept their quirks rather than try to change them.

  22. Very informative blog. It is true we tell ourselves lies, if not several times a day, but like you said when we become aware of it all, we develop tools to be in the reality of the truth. Thanks I will tell those lies to depart from me for 2016!

  23. sometimes we can be our own worse critic and enemy that it is good you share this timely reminder. if only for better health, we ought to stop lying to ourselves and try complete honesty for a change. I will be mindful to try and do that each day, from here on. Thank you!

  24. I think all of us are guilty of this and need this reminder! I know I am guilty of say, “I have no choice.”, when I have many. This post is so awesome. Thank you for the reminder.

  25. These are all fantastic! The “it’s too late” saying is something that I have had to rethink over the last few years. Reading the quote “It’s Never Too Late To Be What You Might Have Been” by George Elliot helps me to remember that each day brings opportunity for a new beginning.

    Happy Holidays!

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  26. I love this post!! There is so much we say to ourselves that holds us back when we want to move forward that mentally stops ourselves. I know the if I had more money would be a big one for a lot of people that stops them.

  27. Thank you for writing and sharing such an inspiring blog post. I’ve been a little bit of a perfectionist most of my life and it stops me from trying new things or doing things I’d like to do frequently . I also like the idea of remembering that it’s not too late to achieve our goals .

  28. I use the “I don’t have a choice” line a lot. I need to stop. It happens a lot at work and with extended family When I use that line it leaves me feeling used and abused. NOT GOOD. This list is something to really think about.

  29. Ouch! So many of the lies you mention are ones that I do on a regular basis. While I know some are routed in fear, it can be hard to change those habits. I’m working on doing less lying to myself and being more proactive when it comes to having the future I desire.

  30. What a great list! I love the”its not too late for me” the best. Because it’s SO true. It’s never to late to follow your dreams!

  31. I needed this reminder today. My car battery died and I am now stuck at home and unable to tackle the millions of things on my to do list. However, I am not powerless and can instead do some other things at home like laundry. It may not be a perfect day, but I will accomplish things on that darn to do list!

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